A Frame of Mind

Lonely or alone? It can be a frame of mind. I have been in both mental places at different points in my life and I definitely prefer alone. “Alone” gives us freedom; it let’s us decide what we want to do and who we want to be. It builds our character, heals our hearts. “Lonely” can bind us, cripple us, dig a pit below and around us and fill it with pain. It says we NEED someone else to be happy, to live the best life, the best us. Do we need others to be happy? Not really (or not completely). Others are a blessing, the icing on the cake of our lives. But if we are not first happy being with ourselves, how can we be happy being with others?

[Definition break:] Lonely: sad because one has no friends or company. Alone: having no one else present. There is nothing wrong with wanting company when we are alone; but is it a good desire (like, it would be nice to have someone to talk to today), or is it a blinding necessity (I MUST have someone to be with - I can't be alone)? If we can’t be happy without someone else's company, then it is binding. Whereas having peace when we are alone is a healthy place to be.

What plagues you when you are alone? Is it that are you sad or upset that no one else is with you, or are you at peace or even excited because you have some “alone time”? It isn’t that we should not want others around; it’s that we can be perfectly happy to hang out with ourselves for a while. Time to soak up the air, the earth, our heart. Spend some time today on your own and contemplate your alone time. Are you okay with it, or is it something you need to learn to be okay with? (Yes, even extroverts can be happy on their own – for a while.) It is not fun being alone all the time, but we need to learn to love ourselves and our own time. It will build us and build the relationships we have with others.