One of my favorite books when I was a child had several stories in it, including the Brothers Grimm's “Rumpelstiltskin”. In fourth or fifth grade, I was asked to write a script from it and direct the play our class was to do. Now, anyone who knew me, knew I was extraordinarily shy. My kindergarten teacher was positive I was deaf because I wouldn’t answer her when she talked to me. It’s entirely possible that being in the middle of ten children I was either too shy or too afraid when not in the middle of the family chaos, or I had learned to not bother to speak to anyone unless I was sure they were listening or unless it was of great importance. Perhaps I tuned that teacher out, but I was definitely very shy. I still am. Until I get to know you and then, fair warning, there isn’t much that will stop the floodgates. Just saying. (Although I usually do play fair and let others have their turn to speak.)
As for the play, I will agree that directing isn’t quite the same as having to get on stage and speak lines in front of an audience, but to be officially in charge when you’re raised in the middle of a big family was something quite foreign to me. To my surprise, through the process of the play I came to realize that with some practice and the right connections I could grow up to be a screen writer or a film director. It was also the first time I specifically noticed that I could be bossy in company that I would normally be shy in. ({TANGENT ALERT!!!} Yes, my brothers will tell you that I could be bossy – I knew them [remember the floodgates?]. In fact, the eldest of the boys used to say he had seven mothers – we six girls came first and my four brothers after. {TANGENT END.}) It's amazing how we become someone else when we are able to do what we love, what our nature calls us to do, what we can do. I’m still a little astonished when I think of that incident in my life – I did it! I’m sure I had some help from the teacher, etc., but I did it.
I’ve known other people as well, who were very quiet or shy who suddenly became a different, very confident person when put in the right situation and with the right encouragement. Especially if they knew their subject well. For instance, if they knew how to build something, or lay linoleum, or play an instrument, or whatever it was they excelled in, they went from a meek, mild, and (I suspect) anxious person to a confident, calm, in-charge person. I've seen it in church situations, too. People are touched and suddenly are so much more confident and therefore able to do more, help more. It’s very awesome, as well as humbling, to see someone grow and spread and bloom into who they can be once they are convinced they are able to be.
I imagine most of us would agree that there is no need to run over anyone in our path as we climb higher – as long as our confidence in ourselves remains intact. It’s when we start comparing ourselves to others that we start falling into the need to be better than other people. If we can be confident in who we are and what we can do, we will stop looking around us and just keep our focus on what’s in front of us: the task at hand. Then we can excel as only we can.
But don’t feel bad when you do pass someone by – there will be some we leave in the dust. Those who are still learning to be who they want or need to be, and those who are too busy worrying about everyone else instead of looking to themselves and their own performance. Be sure to encourage them as you pass them on your way – or if they are passing you by – you’ll be less likely to run them over or fall into the people-pleasing or competitive pits. We will never be able to best everyone and purposely besting someone to make ourselves look better defeats the purpose of being what we can be. Eyes forward on our own task; then we’ll see things happen. Including watching our confidence levels grow. Over time as we learn to trust ourselves and our abilities and build on them, our confidence levels will rise in other areas of our lives.
We are who we are, and we each have our own path and pace. Continuously strive to be the best “you” that you can be and not the best "them" that you can be. Find the things you can and love to do and do them. Let the real you come out. Don't be like the Miller and lie your way to success - it could be your downfall. Remember to keep your focus on what you’re capable of and what speaks to your heart. Each of us has our own race to run, path to trod, stones to lift. Figure out what your path is, clear the way, and let the “monster” in you excel!!
If you're interested in the story line of Rumpelstiltskin, it is below the picture.
Rumpelstiltskin Summary
The Brothers Grimm's Rumpelstiltskin is a fairy tale about a poor miller who wanted to feel important to the king, so he claims that his daughter could spin straw into gold. For three days, the greedy king locked the daughter in a room with straw, a spinning wheel, and a spindle and told her she had until morning to spin all the straw into gold or she would die. When she began to cry the first night, a small man walked into the room and asked her why she was crying. He asked her what she would give him if he did it for her. All three nights the little man came; she gave him her necklace and her ring, but on the third day, she had nothing left to offer, so he suggested that she give him her firstborn child. Desperate, she agreed.
The king married the daughter, and one year later she gave birth. The little man came and demanded she give him what she’d promised. She sobbed and offered him all the riches of the kingdom, but he wanted the child. The queen was inconsolable, so the little man took pity on her and said that if she could guess his name before three days were up, she could keep her child. She collected all the names she could, sent out messengers to find more, and when the man returned, erroneously listed off every name she had gathered. On the third day, the messenger came back and told the queen of a strange little man he had seen dancing and singing and saying his name. When the little man returned, the queen was able to speak his name: Rumpelstiltskin. [The ending, in proper Grimm fashion:] The little man became so angry he stamped his foot on the ground and it went all the way up to his waist; he grabbed his left leg and ripped himself in half.
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