I’m sure we all have special memories of our grandmothers (and grandfathers, but we’re discussing grandmas today). One may have been nicer, or skinnier, or funnier, or whatever their individual personality brought out in them, but we love them! and, depending on your present age, you may – or may not – fully “see” what I’m writing about today. At least, the initial grandma picture.
My husband and I chuckle (endearingly) now and again about how our grandmothers looked. To us, it seems like in the “old days”, pretty much all grandmas wore “house coats” (comfortable, cotton, usually patterned dresses that stopped just below the knees), often black, solid shoes, and often they had short, basic, curly haircuts (inevitably caused by overnight prickly curlers, unless they were blessed with just the right curly hair). Although some of them had long hair, swept up into a perfect bun. Lots of bobby pins were used, I suspect. Others tended to wear their nightgown into the day under a snap up, light cotton robe. I can see it quite clearly.
Generally speaking, these grandmas knew how to work hard. They’d raised a family and slaved in the house, sewing, mending, cooking, cleaning, canning, tending the garden, and the yard, and some of them skinned or plucked or whatever to prepare meat for the family – and that’s not including running around after and caring for however many children they had, as well as a husband, if there was one on hand. A few might have entered into the work force, although the era I’m talking about didn’t offer the opportunity for them to be “career girls” unless it was a family run business and there weren't sons. Maybe volunteer positions were doable, if there was an income to support the woman being out of the house. (Or maybe I don't know entirely what I'm talking about since I'm going by personal and historical memories today. I think that would be: DING BAT ALERT!!! Although, it's fun to run with memories sometimes.) Otherwise, the woman’s “place” was in the home. (Look how far we’ve come!! Isn’t it exciting?) I love that they devoted themselves to giving their families their all. At the same time, I mourn a little bit that we’ll never know who our grandmothers might have been had they been born in a later era.
A few years back, I went to an outdoor graduation party, and I happened to glance toward a group of people and noticed the backside of a woman who was slender and appeared to be in great shape, with upbeat clothes and a modern hairdo. Before my eyes turned away, she turned toward the person next to her and I saw her face. If you had asked me to guess her age from the back, I would have said anywhere from 20-40. Her face looked 80. I was quite delighted, and also quite struck. People talk about the “new” 40, or 50, or 60; and it’s true. Well, so is the new 70 or 80. Life has changed so much for women – how we dress our hair and our bodies, in the work force, (I can now say the career force!), in the ability to decide to not have children or have them much later, in how we can now take care of our bodies: medical procedures, gym workouts, etc. And then there’s the huge grocery stores, and all the useful, electronic gadgets that make life easier and save incredible amounts of time, and most especially there are the men who support our new place in life, our endeavors, both encouragingly, as well as in the home duties. The past one hundred years has been a gradual evolution, and then the past fifty years a sped-up evolution for women. Thus the evolution of grandmas. Some of us have great genes when it comes to aging, and some of us have more wrinkly genes, but overall it’s harder and harder to tell a person’s age. (Not that that matters or that it’s any of our business, of course, it’s just today’s topic. 😊)
Now, much of this is superficial in the details, like when my daughter-in-law told her 2-year-old daughter that grandma was coming to visit, and her daughter says, “Grandma? Grandma longhair?” That’s how she differentiated between her grandmas at that point in her life. Needless to say, momma made that stick – even though I go between long and short haircuts, I’m still Grandma Longhair to the little ones. (GRANDMA LONGHAIR TANGENT ALERT!!!) But the true evolution of grandmas is in the following generations of women who were being let into the work force (originally out of necessity because of war), who began to gain ground for women’s real place in the world. The push to see that women’s talents, brains, and abilities were viable, even needed, and shouldn't go to waste. We don’t have to be moms, or be just moms, unless that’s where our heart lies. We don’t have to spend hours canning to preserve food for our families – unless we enjoy canning or sewing or helping in classrooms, etc., etc. More and more, we get to choose who we want to be: mothers, lawyers, business people, teachers, preachers, construction workers, military, even the Vice President of the United States. The state of women’s choice is an open door – well more and more so, for some doors are still only cracked open and may need some strong women (or strong men) to push them open all the way – but if we keep going the way we’ve been headed, women will no longer be seen as inferior, or incapable, or good only for the home front. We will be valued wholeheartedly for the human beings that we are, not the gender that we are. Partners in this world of living, not the lesser half.
Let’s keep our memories of our beloved grandmas sacred - someone had to do all that work! And let’s realize what they did for us, for our parents, and for our future generations. We stand on the solid ground of a generation that worked hard, loved hard, and when they found the time, enjoyed their play time or quiet time in a simpler, clearer, well-earned way.
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