Do you strive to accomplish New Year’s resolutions? Or have you given up the battle? The thing is, if we can’t manage these goals ANY time of the year, what makes us think we can suddenly do it just because the newest calendar changed the year date? Why do we put such burdens on ourselves only to burn out a few weeks – or days – later.
There are necessary ingredients to sticking to a transformation that can make our life better or healthier. The first one is conviction. Whether it’s a change that will make us a better person, or make us feel better, or that we know must come in order to save us from certain suffering in the long run, the conviction ought to come first to help solidify the path. [Definition break: conviction – a firmly held belief or opinion.]
Dreams, beliefs, and wishes will only get us so far – action takes us through. Therefore, the second ingredient is not just deciding to do it, but doing it. One might think that’s what the conviction is for, but I’ve learned that I can have a strong conviction about something that fizzles out in the face of laziness, wimpiness, fear, or just plain selfishness. I don’t want to do it, so I don’t. Decide it has to be done – whatever the date on the calendar happens to be, then jump in. If we wait for the New Year to begin, we are more likely to fail. We put these goals off again and again, thinking “when it’s more convenient, when I have more time…” Putting it off for the sake of convenience just makes it easier to put off yet again. There’s too much time to think it through and we talk ourselves out of it before the waiting period has passed.
The third ingredient is the tough one: will power. This ingredient is the staying power, the perseverance, steadfastness, faithfulness. It’s a willingness to tough it out until we achieve success; and then to keep it up thereafter if necessary. Yes. Tough. We have to ignore hunger pains, muscle pains, cravings, tiredness, people who are discouraging or hurtful…it’s a long list, depending on what we want to accomplish. But if we do persevere to success, our self-image and self-love will also grow and make it easier to love and help others as well.
Okay, it doesn't appear that I’m saying anything more than what we already know – and already failed at – so, assuming we want success, let’s get more detailed about these ingredients.
Don’t set goals that are impossible. Make sure you’re not reaching for a star hanging from the moon, if it isn’t attainable. It’s hard on our confidence levels when we set ourselves up for failure. Like, if you’re severely in debt, don’t set your goal to be a millionaire in the space of one year. However, you might manage to get yourself out of debt in a year’s time or less. (Check out Dave Ramsey’s “7 Baby Steps”.) If losing weight has been an impossible struggle, learn to make it a daily skirmish. Set a daily goal every morning or each week: no sweets today, or no seconds this week – maybe that’s what you do for a month or two, before making a new goal. Make the goals doable and build them into a new habit. (The South Beach Diet by Arthur Agatston, M.D. is a healthy lifestyle “diet” book. If you do the beginning two-week diet, you lose your craving for sweets and it's much easier to ease back into what will work for you long term.) So, be realistic for where you are, otherwise you’ll start to doubt yourself and give up or lose interest. Start small. Once you achieve that goal, set your sights on the next rung on the ladder. It’s much easier to climb a ladder one step at a time. Don’t reach for the top rung until you get to it – or you’ll likely fall off. And don’t try to climb up more than one ladder at a time, thus losing your focus on the goal that really needs addressing. One or two goals at a time, if possible, will make it easier.
Writing down an achievable, step-by-step, scheduled plan will help keep you on task and motivated. For success to happen, we have to stick to the plan, work through each step and don’t give up when you don’t see results right away. Some of the seeds we plant take a long time to harvest; repairing a relationship or getting back in shape through exercise are two of these. Begin slowly and you won’t burn out or injure yourself. Over time, you will be able to do more and eventually you’ll see results.
Having an encouraging accountability partner can make the difference between success and failure. Ask someone you trust to be supportive (and confidential) if they would be willing to take a short, weekly report from you on your progress. This will also help you keep track of your progress, so you know if your plan is working or needs some tweaking.
Having a partner will give you more conviction and motivation and taking time each week to go over your plans to measure your progress will also keep your plan in your mind. If you never look at your plan or any progress you are making, you may find yourself sliding from the process and lose ground. Don’t beat yourself up if you do slide now and then, just get back on track as soon as possible.
It may seem like a lot of extra work to write up and track a plan, but if you want to succeed, these suggestions should help. Take it day by day, step by step, rung by rung, build new habits, track your process and progress, take a partner with to keep you accountable, and don’t give up!
Happy New Year, everyone!! And may you be successful in whatever change or endeavor you plan to achieve. Let’s do this!
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