Perspective

Perspective

Lol, some of you may quit reading my meanderings after today. I ended up with some tough questions at the end. Bear with me. It’s all in the perspective. 😊

Scenario #1: There is a fire in the firepit of a back yard, which has gotten a bit rambunctious. The wife sees it from inside the house. She doesn’t panic, knowing her husband’s propensity for “healthy” fires, but has her phone at the ready. The neighbor next door sees the flames over the fence and thinks the house is on fire. He calls the fire department and starts getting his valuables in a pile, ready for a potential evacuation. (I think he forgot to check on the neighbors, but we’ll leave that be for now.) The neighbor who lives behind them also sees the high flames and also knows the husband’s propensity for having fun with fire, and he guesses his friend has gotten a little out of hand with his firewood. He opts to get a little closer and check it out before panicking. A third neighbor runs into the back yard in a panic with the hose he’d been watering his garden with splashing water over everything.

Scenario #2: There is a young gal who is rather clumsy and has a tendency to bump into things or trip and fall. She often has bruises on all her extremities. Even her face a couple times. One friend cannot be swayed from thinking her boyfriend is roughing her up. Another friend, who knows her better and has seen her crash into things, laughs and says, “You must bruise easily.”

Scenario #3: A woman has a light gray shirt on and her friend is determined that it is pink. And her dark blue pants are absolutely brown. They might have a fight over it and never speak to each other again. Or, depending on their perspective and personalities, they might agree to disagree (after all, how important is this anyway?). Turns out the friend is color blind and seriously cannot see the same thing as the rest of us – although, how do we know what each of us really sees as red or green, or large or small, and so forth?

Do we want to answer these scenarios first before getting to the point? Does it matter if the fire was dangerous, when we’re discussing the perspectives on all the people in attendance? Okay, for you obsessive types, we’ll say the husband had a doozy of a fire, but it was not dangerous…I bet the firefighters were not pleased. The young gal who bruises easily was not a beaten girlfriend – but was it wrong for the one friend to be naggingly concerned? Perspective again. Thirdly, yes, the shirt was light gray. I know this one for a fact as my husband is color blind and light gray – or is it pink? – is a humorous thing between us, amongst a few other colors, including brown vs. blue vs. black vs. dark green. Yes, we’re still speaking to each other after smilingly disagreeing. We both think our perspective is correct, but it isn’t a worthy subject to get upset over. Humor is often a good alternative…or escape.

The point (if you haven’t already figured it out) is that we are unique individuals with our own brand of perspective. We have different personalities, upbringings, exposures, experiences, generational and societal influences, and so forth, which make us see things differently. One person who has always been cherished and loved can seldom really understand how a person who has been horribly betrayed or raped, etc. can be untrusting, scared, defensive, maybe even seemingly cold. That especially includes people who have themselves been treated badly, but fared differently (different perspective/personality). We need to remember that we all have different perspectives – how we view or respond to people, situations, politics, life in general, often based on how we’ve been treated or taught – and we need to let people grow out of their perspectives in their own time. It never works to try and force someone to see our way; and our way isn’t always – or ever – completely right. If everyone lived this way, we might see some peace grow out of it. Respect. An important word. Respect for a person’s life (it doesn’t matter if you like them or not – they are still people with pain and trials, loves and hopes). Respect for other’s opinions when they don’t match ours. You don’t have to agree with their beliefs, opinions, or perspective. If we want to see peace on any level, we need to stop fighting for our own perspective to win out over others’. We’re in this together. Whether we like it or not. Peace is about getting along, no matter what. What are you willing to do, and who are you willing to forgive or accept as who they are, where they are? None of us are perfect. None of us can see many of our own faults and blind spots. Why don’t we spend more time searching ourselves and our motives instead of judging others? You’re in your own head, your own skin. How people see you could be totally different than how you see yourself. And vice versa: you likely see them differently than who they really are. Let go of the trauma of assuming, getting angry, upset, disappointed (we all fall short – and life is too short!). Live your own life, make your own decisions, and stop trying to control what you can’t control; including other people’s perspectives. State your case and move on. Isn’t part of the joy of knowing people getting to see the differences as well as the similarities? Getting to know what makes them tick?

A final thought that could potentially change our perspectives on the spot. If you were diagnosed with a terminal disease and had only months or weeks to live, or if one of the people you love most died tomorrow, which of the things that usually piss you off would even matter anymore? Perspective. Keep your eyes and heart on what matters, do what you need to do, but also chose this day to accept everyone where they are and who they are and to give them the grace to be who they are. When we befriend others and treat them with respect, they will learn to appreciate us and may one day take our own perspective to heart, which may just change their perspective – and ours as well.

Blessings everyone! We’re all just trying to live.