Scientifically Proven

You can feel it rise from the pit of your stomach – or is it the pit of your soul? You can’t help it; suddenly the floodgates burst, and you feel tears running down your face. Society taught us that it is a weakness to cry, so whenever there is someone in the room we are also flooded with embarrassment. We apologize for it. Especially if we are a man. “Toughen up, young one.” That’s what we are sometimes told, even as adults. And isn’t it those moments that stick with us instead of the ones when people said, “Let it all out sweetheart; you’ll feel better after you've had a good cry.”

Is it okay to cry? Whether from a stubbed toe, dust in the eye, or grief? You are in good company if you do as experts say the average woman cries 3.5 times a month and the average male 1.9. Since crying is a natural response, why do we see it in a negative way? We burb or fart when we eat rich foods, our knee jumps when the doctor taps it with his little rubber “hammer,” and we breathe – automatically, every moment of every day. So why can’t we cry without feeling we are a lesser human being – we were made to cry!

But is it good for our health? Yes! We have known it since ancient Greece and Rome. They believed tears are a purgative – pulling out the bad and purifying us. The psychological world today agrees with them and sees crying as a mechanism that releases stress and emotional pain. It’s a safety valve, so we don’t keep the “bad” stuff/feelings inside. Holding it in can be damaging to our physical and mental health. Crying can also increase attachment behavior, encouraging closeness, empathy, and support from our family and friends. Tears release endorphins (feel-good chemicals) which help ease our pain (emotional and physical). Crying can also be a sign of healing.

The only real concern about crying is if it happens very often and/or for no obvious reason. If crying is affecting your daily activities or becomes uncontrollable – or if you can’t cry at all when you feel like you should (clinical depression) – please, consider seeking medical help.

Having covered emotional tears, we need to also remember that some tears benefit our eyes, like removing debris or lubricating them; both protect the eyes from infection. Tears are 98% water.

We need to accept our feelings and allow ourselves to cry when our body is telling us we need to – even if we need to find a spot alone to do so. So, female or male, feel free to cry when you are hurting, grieving, or watching your favorite tear-jerker movie and KNOW that it’s the best thing you can do! IT’S OKAY TO CRY.

Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School, Leo Newhouse, LICSW, Contributor