When discussing the raising of children, I have often said, “God made toddlers so stinking cute and loveable (no pun on dirty diapers, well, maybe a little), because otherwise we would likely ‘strangle’ them or ourselves when they are going through the terrible twos.” (There would at least be some pulling out of our hair!) And then I add, “and God made teenagers difficult and/or rebellious, so that by the time they walk out the door to start their own lives as young adults, we’ll be glad to let them go!” Of course, I was joking on both accounts – mostly (unless you have/had extremely difficult toddlers or teenagers, in which case, you probably did pull out your hair, or are losing some, or turning gray early!) But in truth, we love them like crazy, are always sad when they leave no matter how wonderful or difficult they made our lives, and we always want them to visit after they have left.
Those little ones’ hugs and kisses and all the sweet learning curves that have them saying the cutest, funniest things – don’t we live for this when they are little? Seeing the wonder in their eyes and the love they pour on us. And then a few years later, we are cheering them on at ball games or band concerts or whatever else they are involved in. We are their biggest fans – even if we are a bit critical at times because we think they can do more, and we want the best for them – or think we can teach them more. Which might be part of why they become rebellious – they instinctively know they need to learn to think for themselves so they can leave one day. A lot of our lessons come through experiences, not what people tell us to do.
Don’t beat yourself up after they are raised and on their own. We all make plenty of mistakes or have our “bad” days and overreact, etc. etc. No one is perfect. Not we as parents, nor the children as children – nor the children as adults. We are all learning as we go, and we know so little when we start out. We do the best we can and strive to be better as time goes on. Except for certain children with specific issues or needs who need more, I have generally believed a proper mix of love and discipline/consequences create children who grow to be loving, functional adults. (Like I said, not perfect; there is no perfect when we are talking about human beings.)
But what a blessing being a parent is. From diapers to graduation caps, there is so much living to be done. And it’s over so quickly. Be sure to enjoy the journey – it is pretty quiet and often unexciting without them! One day in the future, you will miss the chaos and constant moving. Thrive in it while it is yours.
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