Maybe you’re a pessimist and still achieved, invented, or lived big. Or maybe you’re an optimist that didn’t have the resources or were too laden with fears to do more than achieve where you were planted. As I said last week, this blog is NOT about having to achieve great things, or a judgment on who has or has not achieved big things – most of us live wonderfully ordinary lives. Loving people where we are planted is more important than achieving great worldly tasks. Let’s look at the clinical side of both character traits.
The way you look at life can make you successful or mediocre. That second question I asked last week: are pessimists realists and optimists just dreamers? Well, pessimistic people are realistic people, and optimistic people are dream chasers. However, if you want to climb the heights in your area of expertise or make your dreams come true, you may want to adjust your thinking and try to be more like the optimists. Let’s take a look at the difference between them.
Pessimists focus on what could go wrong and prepare themselves for the worst; they see danger in every opportunity. They are driven by data (the “what could go wrong” data in particular) and that makes them want to stay in their comfort zone. Pessimists find problems and like to prove that something cannot be done. This creates the tendency to live with doubts and insecurity most of the time. Pessimistic people have low expectations for their lives and can sometimes convince others to play it safe as well, sure that disappointment is inevitable. (Are you feeling comfortable with this scenario?)
Optimists are barrier-free thinkers and look for the opportunities in every danger. They believe they can do whatever they set themselves out to do, and they prepare themselves to achieve their goals. In fact, they are goal driven, meaning they set goals, are always working on their goals, and do whatever it takes to achieve them. They live much freer and abundant lives because they believe they will find a way. Optimists have high expectations in life because they believe in their potential and power to achieve. They are positive, encouraging people, and they will influence you to believe that you, too, can achieve anything in life. (Are you ready to “climb a mountain” after this paragraph? Or scared to the bone?)
Statistically, optimistic people are four times more successful than pessimistic people. If you look at the really successful people who started out with little more than their ideas, talents and dreams, you will likely discover they are optimists who forged their way, willing to take chances and live through some failures along the way to make their dream happen. So, optimists are dreamers, but dreamers who are likely to make their dreams a reality.
My silly scenarios of last week are not totally out there, but I’m guessing there are many of us who have some of both the optimist and the pessimist in us. Natural tendencies, fears, and behavior patterns that we pick up when we are young tend to cling to us, good and bad. But if you have a goal or dream that you’d really like to see happen, and you’re positive there is no way that it could, sit yourself down and have a good talking to yourself. Tell yourself that if you do nothing, then nothing can come out of it. But, if you at least try, and, possibly, try again, and again, you might well see that dream come true. Don’t give up unless you know there is no realistic way it can happen – like a 90-year-old still wanting to be a prima ballerina; it’s a physical impossibility – if you’re in top condition, maybe shoot for a marathon instead. (Some of us would have to make that a TV marathon of our favorite show.) Sometimes achievements will be on a smaller scale, but that’s just fine. Not everyone is going to be the “big” guy, inventor, leader, etc. But do try to succeed. If you do fail in one area – what have you lost? At least, you know you tried, and that will give you the confidence to attempt something else!
And, by the way, if you’re happy where you are, you’re ahead of a whole lot of people. If you beat yourself up for not achieving more in your lifetime – give that up! Or you’ll never be truly happy where you are, and since you are who you are – be you! That's the best success you can have.
So, pessimists, be sure to have some fun and don’t drag others down. Optimists, don’t forget the sunblock and seatbelts, and slow down so the pessimists can catch up to you. Maybe they’ll take your hand if you reach out for theirs. And remember, they are looking out for poisonous snakes, while your eyes are on the horizon. Be sensitive to each other’s traits and be kind to each other. We need each other and need to work together with everyone’s gifts and natural tendencies. It’s okay and sometimes necessary to be careful out there, but let’s have some fun doing this life!
I'm leaving you with a Facebook drawing from @herdboy that has a boy, an ox and a rabbit. The boy says his cup is half empty, while the ox says his is half full. But the rabbit has it right. He says that whichever way you look at it, the cup is refillable. Be sure to refill yourself with hope every morning you rise. No matter what is facing you.
www.dictionary.com/e/optimistic-vs-pessimistic/
vancruzer.com/pessimists-vs-optimists/
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