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Colleen Briske Ferguson

Unexpected Purpose

Sometimes seeking purpose in life is about your career, or in your personal life, or making a difference in the world, but I think on some level it is in how we love people and are loved in return.

 

Do you love giving people gifts? Does it come natural to you to purchase things for others? Does the joy on their faces make your day? Or are you a big hugger? Do you need ample affection in your relationships? Maybe doing tasks for others is what fills your heart, or maybe it’s the need to spend quality time with them. Do you need and love to give words of affirmation? When others appreciate or compliment you, does that fill your heart? Gifts, affection, acts of service, spending time, and affirmation are the five love languages marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman, wrote about in his book The Five Love Languages. After I read it some years ago, I realized he had really hit on the truth of it. I have seen examples of each type of love in real life. For instance, I have known several people who often bought gifts for others; some of them didn’t care if they got anything return, but they beamed when they did receive gifts, while others needed to receive gifts to make them feel loved. I have seen those who are very affectionate and liked giving and receiving hugs or holding hands a lot, and others who jumped at the chance to love their people by doing something for them whether it was opening a door for them or fixing a leaky pipe. Some glow at a word of praise, devouring any words of affirmation. Yet others need to spend time with their special person. Preferably lots of it and preferably quality time.

 

Look for your purposes (I say it in the plural form as I believe we are here for many purposes, not one primary purpose). Think seriously about what your love language is and what your partner or close people’s love languages are and you may find a purpose you never expected. Loving someone one else with their love language is a boon for you both, especially if the partner/person reciprocates in your love language. Let’s all try to do more, speak positively, hug honestly, give to those givers in our lives, and make time with our people. It doesn’t have to be big things. Little things can make a big difference in someone’s life. Unexpected purposes can be the most fulfilling.


An example of all five love languages. They decorated the kitchen and made him a big breakfast for his birthday, gave him homemade and purchased gifts, then gave him hugs & kisses, words of affirmation, and spent the entire day with him, taking him to fantastic special places, making it extra special. That's a lot of love.


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