Confidence. Synonymous somewhat with lion (my personality blog 12/29/23), but attainable regardless of your main personality traits. It is a longish word with a huge impact. Confidence gives us courage to do what we might not otherwise do. It moves us to act when we would rather stay put. Without confidence, fear can rule us. It can cause us to lose out on so many opportunities and make us think we are incapable, incompetent, and weak. It can make us indecisive and sometimes unsuccessful even when we do step out of our comfort zones.
How do we build confidence in ourselves? Baby steps can help if you really struggle with self-assurance issues. Try smaller tasks or opportunities first, then build on the confidence you achieve with each accomplishment. “I did that, I can do this…” What helps me the most is acknowledging that any new step, adventure, job, etc. is going to be stressful for anyone as it’s all new to us, but if we keep in mind that we do have confidence in the areas where we have been trained and that we are good at or comfortable in, we can know that we won’t be perfect starting out in the new venture, but we can confidently learn to do it just as we learned to do what we’ve done previously. I know someone who is as shy as a mouse. As unassuming and gentle as a lamb. But once when he helped us out in the area he had worked in for a living, he became a lion! Quite literally. We were astonished and delighted to see who he could be when in an area where his confidence was strong.
How do we build confidence in others? Praise them on their efforts no matter how small. Encourage them to do what they say they want to do but have been afraid to do (safe, attainable goals, please). Don’t push them; gently “nudge” with words of reassurance, reminding them of what they have accomplished in the past.
Confidence also helps build our sense of worth. We as humans need purpose. In his later years, my father-in-law became depressed due to several factors, but I think in a large part because he was mostly stuck in a chair, waiting out his days, unable to participate in life anymore, except for a chat with anyone willing and able to listen (be a listener to your elderly!). When he ended up in the hospital for the depression, he did so much to help others, he came home happy himself. He found worth, he found purpose for a time.
When we take our eyes off our own misery, fear, or pain and help others, we find an indescribable joy in giving others joy, in taking some of the burdens off their shoulders. It also builds our confidence knowing that we can accomplish things if we just jump in. There may be bumps or backsteps along the way, but it’s better than never trying. Be brave and courageous! There is a life worth living available, if we just grasp what is at hand.
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