You know when you’re having a conversation with someone and you don’t know what the meaning is for one of the words they said? For example: people think you know lots about flowers, but you only know what you’ve been exposed to or had time to look up, so your expertise is limited. They are shocked to find that you don’t know ALL of the species or some of the simplest details. Or you’re with an expert, like a computer pro, and they are explaining something, but they get a bit too far beyond your knowledge. A little farther into the conversation and you have no idea what they are talking about. Or perhaps you’re with someone with an incredible memory for details…and you tend to forget a lot of what you take in – in one ear and out the other – even what you had for dinner last night. (How much should we be expected to memorize?! Brain overload!! Memory on Lay-A-Way!!) What do you do when any of these scenarios happen? Do you jump in with questions, or are you thinking that you’d be too embarrassed to admit that you don’t know what they are talking about? Maybe it depends on who you’re talking to. Don’t we have a tendency to think we don’t dare admit we are clueless, stupid, ignorant – such an ugly word – or is it? It just means you don’t know about something specific – not that you don’t know anything. Shouldn’t it be okay to admit that we’re ignorant on certain subjects? So, silly me, I should know all this stuff?
{TANGENT ALERT!!!}The problem with ignorance is when we speak or act on a subject that we haven’t fully researched, because we’re likely to drop ourselves into The Pool of Troubled Waters. Or stick our foot in our mouth… Someone is bound to be hurt or offended. So many people are easily offended these days… (sounds like another blog forming…)
Back to this blog: Some of us have photographic memories, some of us know a whole lot of stuff, some of us have great recall, and some of us don’t know more than basic schooling and what life has thrown at us – which is sometimes the best teacher: life itself. But I imagine all of us have had these moments of being with someone who knows more than we know about a specific subject – and also been on the other side of the coin and known stuff that the person we’re with doesn’t know. There’s sometimes a telling look of either politeness, lost-ness, or slowly overcoming boredom. Do you pause when you see this and kindly ask “Have I lost you?” If they’re interested, do you find ways to patiently instruct them, using more layman terms to impart your acquired knowledge? If they are not interested, do you get mad that they aren’t interested, or do you understand that not everyone has your passion for what you do and know?
While some people are brilliant and have amazing memories for all kinds of information; my guess is that most of us have some basic knowledge and then some more knowledge beyond the basics in our own areas of expertise. Be that brain surgery, roofing, or being a parent. We all have our part to play, our place in life, our job to do, our people to love. I remember sitting in a high school meeting on the necessity of getting all children to go to college, and when it was over my husband saying to me, “I was sitting there wondering, if all the kids go to college, who is going to lay the carpet on the floors (the room we were in was fully carpeted)?” There really is room for all of us. A place for every soul, every choice we make, every job we take – just as we are.
Besides, (on the lighter side) if everyone knew everything, we wouldn’t need Google, right? And don’t we love those Google options? We can secretly look stuff up and then look really smart. Of course, then we might be classed with the know-it-alls. Can’t win, can we?
Lots of people will judge us as clueless or snobbish, so we may as well not worry about how we look to others and ask whatever questions we can, so we can learn something new. It could be the person we’re talking to is quite happy to share what knowledge they have. And there is so very much to learn! As I’ve heard my mother say, “The older I get, the less I think I know.” Don’t feel “brainless” for not knowing everything that other people know. But choose to stop being afraid to ask questions when you really want to know more. That doesn’t mean you have to be curious about everything everyone else knows though, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re too tired or busy to learn everything that comes your way. There's a reason why we all have our areas of expertise. We truly can't know it all!
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