Competition can egg us on to a level of greatness we might not otherwise attain. It can also make us unkind (that’s said in the kindest of terms) or self-centered. It can crush us when winning is our only focus, and we don’t win. I learned early in life to not bother to compete with others because there will always be those who are better. The problem with that lesson-learned, for me, was that it took me a while to realize that I could still excel in those areas I was gifted in regardless of what others were doing with the same or similar talents. We do need more than one advertising artist, architect, chef, scientific researcher, etc. I didn’t have to be the best, and it’s okay to be good at something, but not come out on top (plus, there are an awful lot of top positions all over the world, thus a lot more opportunity to “make it” somewhere). At the time, I had little confidence in my abilities and talents and was made to feel substandard by at least one person in particular. And doesn’t it take just one person to crush us, especially when we’re young? (As a teenager, this was probably more normal than I realized.) I eventually grasped that striving for my personal best was what I needed to do. It took a visit to a college graduation art show for me to see this. I found that I was as good as, and for the most part better than, all but two of the artists, who were clearly extraordinarily gifted. There are extraordinarily gifted people in all areas. People with that extra something. A love for their field of interest, a spark of being able to see things – sometimes to see them differently than the rest of us – and to be able to create that sight into something so the rest of us can see it, too. I think it’s the divine quality in us, the spark of heaven, of vision beyond ourselves, of God, that allows us to do such things.
If we do them. Think of all the things that we didn’t do because someone said we weren’t good enough, or we sold ourselves short and gave up trying or creating because we thought someone else was better. No one is better at being ourselves than ourselves. This makes me think of the movie Adrien Brody starred in titled, The Pianist. This true story of the gifted pianist and prolific composer, Wladyslaw Szpilman, who had to hide in ghettos to survive the attack on the Jews during WWII, left me with the primary thought of what we lost from all those who were slaughtered in the concentration camps. All the brilliant minds, the talented souls… We have no idea what we lost. None. Symphonies unwritten, scientific discoveries unrevealed, love lost, lights from souls…never to be seen.
Maybe if we follow through and do what we like to do, we can excel when and where we least expect it. Charles Schultz never excelled at anything. He was considered a loser and had resigned himself to a mediocre life. But he loved doing one thing in particular. In putting his personal experiences into cartoons, he created Charlie Brown, but it took rejection after rejection before it was picked up and published and became one of the most popular cartoons ever.
Maybe the path you thought you wanted to take, the paths you failed to succeed in, maybe they were only a stepping stone to something else – something that looks mediocre in the world’s eyes, but to someone else might be their saving grace, their fulfillment, their reason for being part of this world, for excelling at being a great person, not a great whatever. Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut and ended up being a really good computer specialist. Or maybe you wanted to be a ballerina, but physically you couldn’t compete with the top dancers. Maybe that led you to teach ballet, and though you think you wanted to beat your body up to the degree of fame, you might just be a really great teacher. How do you know you weren’t meant to teach all along, but it took “failure” to get you to the point where you “accepted” teaching as a second option? Maybe you wanted to own your own business and you ended up being an accountant for someone else’s instead, helping others keep their businesses going. That’s awesome! Most of us depend on our accountants to save our businesses. What if you wanted to be a professional football player and you ended up roofing houses? You are a hero! Roofing is one of the worst jobs – horrendously hot in the summer, hard labor, rough materials…who wants it? You’ve saved people’s homes, belongings, and given them a sense of security. As I’ve said in other blogs, we all have our place in this life. We need roofers more than astronauts and football players, but all are necessary. Astronauts are looking forward to a potential future, and football players, along with other entertainers, are giving us opportunities to relax and enjoy something outside our immediate daily lives or trials. We all have our part.
What it boils down to is that whatever path we take – whether we get the opportunity to give our big dreams a try or another path takes us – we should strive above all things to be happy where we are. Work well, play when you can, and don’t lose the first gifts you loved to fear of rejection or failure. Chances are you may not have gotten far in that dream you had – how many prima ballerinas can there be in the world – but keep dancing, drawing, shooting hoops, keeping up on the latest news of the fields you love, AND be happy where you sunk your roots.
Let’s let go of what we haven’t done, acknowledge the loss and put it behind us. Don’t pick it up again. Pick up the present instead and run with it. Maybe we aren’t as good as someone else, but if we enjoy doing it, who cares! Shouldn’t this life be about enjoying life, creating pieces of ourselves, encouraging and helping others to thrive alongside us, personal best instead of “got to be best”, rather than impressing others or beating them? Making competition our goal is as self-defeating as it pulls others down. We can accomplish so much more when we’re a team rather than a lone wolf. An anonymous quote going around on Facebook says it well. “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
One of my favorite lines in a song from my teen years was, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.” (Crosby, Stills, & Nash) That phrase can cover so much more than what it meant. From, if you can't have the person you wanted, you can find someone else to love, to, if you can’t have the job you want, love the job you’ve got. There’s so much living to do. Let’s drop our preconceived ideas of who we are, if we can be, what we might have been, and keep working at and loving where we are. Don’t be caught up in the past and the “what ifs”. They are bound to stifle today’s joys. Don't get too stressed over what's coming next. They are also bound to stifle today's joys. Go and be you, now. Wherever you are, whatever you do, whoever you’re with. We are the BEST version of who we are. No one else can do “me” better than me, or “you” better than you. You don't have to compete with anyone to be YOU.
What does a trophy mean? It reminds us of our accomplishments, our personal bests. That’s great! Strive to succeed wherever you are, so you can be the best YOU, you can be. But let's leave competition in the dust, and have fun and do this together! We're not alone.
Excellent 👌😊