What to do when we give someone chance after chance to accept our love, and they continue to hurt us? Day after day, year after year, rejection, cruel words, unchanging attitudes, comprehension, or perspectives – how do we keep living under that pressure?
Sometimes sticking around is the best thing we can do, because everyone has the right to be accepted as they are. However, when it is changing us into a lesser person, more weighted down, damaged, depressed, sad, reactionary [see next paragraph], sometimes the staying and supporting must become someone else’s task. We can’t change each other, so all we can do is keep planting and watering seeds of love. Until we can’t. When we are breaking, we need to let go and walk away. (Easier said than done. Yes.)
[Definition break (for some comic relief and my occasional {TANGENT ALERT!!!}): Reactionary means "characterized by reaction, especially opposition to progress or liberalism; extremely conservative." Sometimes reactionary is used to mean "tending to overreact; very reactive," but that sense is widely viewed as a mistake. (TheFreeDictionary by Farlex)] I am on the wild side, I mean, the wide side today; I used it as a mistake. On purpose. I like it that way. (Maybe tomorrow I’ll use it right. Maybe.)]
Back to the blog. In response to someone I love who was struggling with such a relationship, I wrote this: “We love you and so many others do, too. You are a sparkling gem in a universe filled with stones. Don't think that your efforts and love fell on rock. Everyone we touch is like a plant wanting to create a bud, but some are unable to because of the mess inside. When we give another our love over and over, we are watering their soul. Some people are ready to accept the love and morph into a beautiful flower and some may never be. Don't look at their behavior or rejection. Instead, know that you did your best, let go of the baggage they likely dumped on you, evaluate your own behavior for growth, and let yourself heal and love the people who are able to love and nourish you. One of the best fertilizers is rotting food or manure – it makes the ground fertile for growth. Not all that appears negative is without the ability to fertilize us. Keep shining in the darkness. There are plenty of people on the verge of change or healing and willing to accept the presence of fertilizers, so they can create flowers. Be the nourishment that aids their process, but don't let the process of the fertilizer burn you.
Like a heart on cold, barren marble, sometimes you have to get off the cold foundation and build a new foundation with the warmth of those who are interested in loving and maturing with you to a happier life – so you, too, can bloom.
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