Were we speaking of history? I don’t remember. But I know we all have history. Some of us would rather not remember some of our history. Probably ALL of us. I mean, haven’t we all done some stupid stuff when we were young? (I know I’ve said this before; maybe I’m seeking affirmation, lol!) Maybe when we were teenagers? Or young adults? (Or old coots?) Maybe we jumped off a swing or tractor or cement wall and broke a bone. Maybe we went drinking with our pals and got caught – amazing how most of us didn’t get caught. I mean, seriously, if we all got caught every time we did something we shouldn’t have done back in the day – or in present times – the law system would be overrun with teenagers just stretching their independence, peer pressure, and curiosity muscles.
Some of the stupid stuff was not necessarily our “fault.” Brains are not fully developed and matured until the mid-to-late 20s, so teenage brains are still fine-tuning how they work. The last section of the brain to mature is the area responsible for skills like planning, prioritizing, and making good decisions (see, we were bound to do stupid stuff!). This is not helped by the still developing social processing parts (peer pressure stress) or the fact that teenagers may deal with stress differently than adults, setting them up for anxiety or depression issues. (Look into effective coping techniques if your teen is struggling with stress). Plus, maybe our parents did a great job of raising us, but maybe they were not great about covering certain topics like the opposite sex or the dangers of drugs or don’t mix ammonia with bleach or, well, stuff. Sometimes parents are so busy just doing the necessary, that they don’t remember to keep the lines of communications open – and sometimes the teens just won’t listen. It isn’t anyone’s fault; it’s just raising kids or being raised by parents. We are all living and striving and doing…and always busy!
I remember one day my mom and grandma were sitting in the kitchen and a couple of my teenage sisters had come home late because “we had car trouble.” Mom scolded the girls since she figured it had more to do with boys than the car (I never did ask my sisters…hmmm.) Then my grandma says to mom, “Now, don’t be too hard on the girls. I remember when your father and I were out one night and the horse and sleigh ended up in the ditch. The car could have been the problem.” (I love that story – my grandparents as teens stuck in a ditch – couldn’t the horse pull it out? I want to know more!)
So, parents, don’t be too hard on your kids when they screw up – it might be partly their brain still maturing or possibly even partly our imperfect parenting. And teens – don’t be too hard on your parents; they are just trying to figure out this life the same as you. For the rest of us who survived it: remember the good stuff, let go of the “bad” stuff, and move on. There is so much living to be done after those years, and you may as well do it without the burdens of the past to drag you down.
The Teen Brain: 7 Things to Know – NIMH; https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-7-things-to-know
Yes, this is a car wrapped in plastic wrap with slices of pizza and a pizza box hanging from the antenna. Stupid stuff – although, this one was pretty hilarious.
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