Maybe you are a Type A, run-around-everyone-else kind of person and your spouse/partner is a one-thing-at-a-time tortoise kind of person. That could end poorly – or not. It’s up to you – to you both.
I am more of a hare, though not really a Type A person. I was taught to keep moving, to get things done – even if you have to get out behind and push. Somebody has to get things done! The earning job, the dishes, mowing, laundry, taxes, calls, fixing things, taking the kids to sundry places…it is never ending. There are always new things being added to the long list as we cross off accomplished items.
My husband, on the other hand, is a tortoise. A sure, but slow plodder. When he does a job, it may take him a while, but it will be as close to perfect as it can be. It causes him some frustration at times – the perfection part – but he will get to the end of the project, call, trip, whatever, at some point – victorious.
Can these two personalities survive? In truth, they can thrive. They complement each other – if both partners realize it. Because our marriage is a partnership, we learned early on (because we are both recovering divorcees and knew difficult marriages before hooking up and are very happy to have someone willing to work at it) that each of us had strengths and weaknesses and the trick is to utilize the strengths that cover over the other’s weaknesses. He is good at some things and I am good at other things. And we grew in confidence, knowing we could shine at what we knew. Over time, we also began learning from each other. He is much better with children and handling the day-to-day household these days, and I am learning how to do some of the things he has always done – and sometimes to just slow down. (Although that could have more to do with stubbing my toes all the time and needing to slow down, lol.)
No matter if you are a hare or tortoise, golden retriever or lion, you can learn to thrive with your partner. You just both have to be willing to sometimes speak, sometimes shut up, always forgive, love, learn, communicate, and work at it – at the partnership, the everyday tasks, the important things and the little things. Soak in the joy and thankfulness you give each other. Every relationship takes time – time spent together, time spent well (whether that is having tough but necessary conversations or watching a movie). Be willing. Be loving. Be unselfish. If it takes two to dissolve a relationship, it also takes two make it something special, to make it a well-oiled machine. (Oops, does this make it an institution?? [last week’s blog])
The lessons for today? Don’t resent your partner because you think you get more done than them and don’t lose confidence because you aren’t able to do as much as the partner – each of us contributes in our own ways, and there is usually an ebb and flow to who is giving more at different times in our lives. Recognize this. Be thankful you are good at different things – and that you are different, because that allows you each to have your different abilities. Being thankful transforms the way we think. It makes us much happier and will enable us to build a relationship instead of tear it down.
Awesome photo!